Looking at Houses with the Prius....

Ed (my husband) just got a Prius. He drives a LOT for work, and this car has the best mileage around. I am a big fan of the car- FOR HIM- it gets amazing mileage, saves $$ on gas, and is super green- yay for that. It is a totally futuristic car- to me, at least. It has a screen that shows you: climate control, radio stations/volume, almost everything. It looks minute from the outside but is actually very spacious on the inside. So- my car is still in the shop, and yesterday, he was trying to sell his (old) car, the Volvo. So when I went to head out to take some clients out looking at homes yesterday AM, he asked if I could take the Prius rather than the Volvo, as he had someone coming to look at the Volvo.

Ok, no biggie, right?
YIKES!! I am really a creature of habit. Very used to having GPS, used to driving a regular car that doesn’t feel like a Jetson-mobile. Was a little freaked out, to be honest.

(What the Prius feels like to me)

So I had to MAPQUEST directions to the homes we were going to see, oh, 5 minutes before I was supposed to leave to meet up with my clients.
OK, got that done, got the directions, ready to go.

Now, driving the Prius is another story altogether.
As I inserted the key (which is more like a pod-type thing, than a key) into the car, and Hit the reverse lever, the car did not reverse out of our driveway. The kids are surrounding the car chanting “Bye Mama!” “Love you Mama!” “Miss you Mama!” and I am shouting back the same thing, also trying to get this future-vehicle to reverse. 9 minutes to get to Martinez, still have not reversed out of the driveway- AACCCK!! Freaking, just a bit. Ed is holding the baby, in front of the car, trying to give me directions on what to do, while keeping the kids out of the street.
Finally- get the car in reverse- whew!- and as I’m backing out, Ed starts blowing and encouraging the kids to blow to get the car to go. (He makes fun of it because the car is so darned light and runs on barely anything, that it practically could be moved just from someone blowing on it. So this is kind of annoying cause I’m in a rush, kinda funny)

I’m off. Meet my clients, Mapquest directions work, thank the Lord. The house, however, I don’t think does. Great, awesome, beautiful new house, beautiful pool, no backyard besides that- and my clients want a backyard.

On to the next one- from the front, the house is scary, practically growing bushes between the steps to the front door, overgrown, to say the last. House inside is ok, randomly updated, crazy circular sitting area around firepit- very 70’s hippie-party like, awesome backyard with pool, koy pond, outdoor shower, spa. So, backyard is great, inside, not as great.

Last house- brand new house, built on a hillside in Martinez. Gorgeous house, amidst other, not-as-gorgeous houses, small hilly backyard overlooking someone else’s very cluttered backyard. Not a fit.

Get back into the car, try to start the car, cannot start the car. Am parked on hillside, and all this Jane Jetson car wants to do is stay in Neutral- AAACK! Hit brake, hit brake. Keep trying to put car in drive, call Ed, no answer, try car again, get random message on electronic screen on computer- yes, there is a screen that gives you messages- how straight out of 2050, yes??- that says: cannot put car in drive. Yes, I can see that car, thanks a lot, but Please go in drive!!! I need to go home and take care of kids so that Ed can meet people to sell his Volvo! Put car in PARK, take deep breath. Re-insert pod-key into car, hit DRIVE lever, and Wa-La! Works. Thank. Goodness.

So, managed to make it work, but without GPS and without knowing how to completely drive this future-car, it was a bit stressful. I am really hoping that they can finish fixing my car this week. I miss you MDX -with super-intuitive navigational system, the seat formed to fit me perfectly, my fav radio stations programmed in and the most perfect spot to put my leg up on the door while I drive.

The Child Divider

Since my car went kaput nearly 3 weeks ago, I have been driving my brood around in my husband’s car- a Volvo S80 sedan. He just got a Prius, is trying to sell the Volvo, which I am driving around until I get my car fixed. So- the seating arrangement in my SUV was tight with our 3 kids all in carseats, but in the Volvo it is so tight you can barely shut the door. This, in itself, would not be such a big issue for me, if I did not also have to deal with the loss of our CHILD DIVIDER.

Let me explain.

This Summer, after our son Adam arrived, we went from having two carseats in the backseat of my Acura MDX to three. The order in the backseat was: Adam (baby) on one side, Samantha (4) in middle, Sacha (2) on other side. We thought this seating order would work well because Samantha could take care of Adam (insert binky in mouth, let me know if he is sleeping or not…) and it would prevent Sacha from sticking his fingers in the baby’s mouth/nose, etc. The arrangement actually did work for maybe a week or so. They thought it was super fun to have so many people in the backseat, and to be able to sit right next to each other. It wasn’t long, however, before Samantha and Sacha began to bicker over every single toy/juice/snack the other one had (even if they had the same one: “He has MORE THAN ME!!!!”) and the out-and-out backseat wars began.

I am not talking about just screaming, screeching, crying wars…. I am talking pinching, hitting, throwing and shoving wars. There were days when, driving them from preschool to their swim class, and back home again, I would have to drive while simultaneously holding on to Sacha’s arm to prevent him from pinching Samantha, or try to hold his arm and leg at once (quite difficult, I might add) in order to prevent pinching and kicking at the same time. This was not fun. But I didn’t have much of a choice- I had to drive them around, and didn’t want to get another car with a better seat layout just yet. My car had a lot of miles on it, it was already messed up from the kids, and I wanted to “drive it into the ground”.

However, the backseat debauchery reached a boiling point one weekend in August when my little sister, Christy, offered to come with me to take the 3 kids to the beach. Adam was only a month old, and I was a little nervous about hauling him and the other two, all the way out to Capitola, a 2 hour drive each way, and spending the day there with them by myself- without anyone drowning. She was a gem for coming, and I know she had absolutely no idea what she was getting herself into.

I went prepared- I had those yummy Madeline cookies from Starbucks, 2 sippys full of milk, another 2 full of juice. We had more snacks than Costco, wipes, towels, and good music- the perfect recipe for a painless trip.

But of course, after about 40 minutes on the road, the pinching began- “Don’t put your ARM ON MY SEAT!!”- “He’s pinching MEEEEEE!!!”- “SAAAAAACHAAAAAA!!!”------Christy and I, for the remainder of the trip to the beach, had to each hold one child’s arm and leg to prevent them from attacking each other like ferocious kitties. I am not exaggerating even a little bit. We actually held onto them for a good hour+.

We finally made it to Capitola. Somehow. We spent the day there- a stressful, awesome, fun, hot and crazy day at the beach. All 3 kids survived, I will spare you the details of what it took to make that happen. Suffice to say, that by the end of the day, Sacha was SO tired that we placed him on the top of a 4-foot pile of beach towels/bags/equipment, which we were hauling on a wagon, and he slept like a zombie, with no idea where he was. (Sam and Sach looking like ideal siblings that never bicker....trickers!) (too bad I didn’t have a picture of the wagon scene, it was something else)

Unfortunately, as soon as we got to the car, Sacha woke up. The ride home was one of the longest drives I’ve ever endured. Instead of driving home, I nearly drove to a car dealership to buy another car that seated my kids as far away from each other as possible. After 2.5 hours of being stuck in traffic, stop and go, stop and go, kids clawing/screaming/throwing/kicking….I turned around quickly to see whose leg was kicking the seat, and when I turned back around, I was inches from the car in front of me: BRAAAAAKE!!!!!! My heart jumped out of my chest, and the stress that had been building up from the previous 2+ hour, painful drive, all came out- I started crying. I cannot do this anymore!! So- I called Ed, told him I was heading to a car dealership, and he told me- “Give me an hour tomorrow, and I’ll try to solve the problem”.

Fast forward to the next morning. (We all managed to survive the rest of the drive home, by the way.) Ed holes himself up in the garage while I keep the kids out of the garage. I hear sawing. He asks me for a couple of baby blankets. He silently works away on the solution to the most frustrating problem of our life at that time. “MarIIIIssssaaaa……come take a loooook!” I come out- and he has constructed the solution: THE CHILD DIVIDER!!!! It is a “divider” -intended to go between the kids' carseats- made out of 2 pieces of plywood, glued together, about 2.5 feet tall and wide, rounded edges on all the sides, with baby blankets wrapped and glued/stapled around the entire thing to make it soft and childproof. And it is brilliant.

Ed put Samantha and Sacha into their car seats, inserted the Child Divider, and took a test drive. He came back-“They don’t even know the other one is there!!” Amazing. Worked better than we ever could have wished or imagined. And until my car decided to kick the bucket on Dec. 28th, it was my life vest in the Bermuda Triangle better known as: DRIVING WITH 3 KIDS. So now, for the past 3 weeks, I have been missing my child divider terribly -to say the last-and appreciating it very much.

Tomorrow, I get my car back, and I get the Child Divider back too. And hopefully, my sanity will return with it. ;)

I did want to write one other note on the Real Estate side of my life….I went out with a great couple this weekend- looking for their first home. We saw a few decent ones and then one really great one that they loved. What I find funny is that- at the house that they liked- there was an Open House. The Realtor holding it Open was super friendly, talking to baby Adam, asking us how we were, pointing out the backyard, etc. My clients were pretty openly saying how much they liked it, what they liked, etc. And at the very end, before we are going to leave: the Realtor tells me it is her own house! Just thought it was kinda funny because it was like she just wanted to be sure not to tell us up front so that we could be candid about our feelings about the house. Usually people don’t hold their own houses open, or if they do- they tell you so that you can ask them any questions about their house. Sneaky lady!

At any rate- they did not find their dream house on this outing, but they have plenty of time. They were total troopers too- got a flat tire in the rain- fixed it- and kept on with the house search. That’s first time buyer excitement for you! Love it!

Dreary Day

So, like the rest of everyone in Contra Costa County, I was awestruck by the incredible thunder and lighting show today. I love nothing more than a good storm, and this was the first time my kids had seen the lighting & thunder. They loved it.

Wish I could say that I enjoyed an awesome day watching it all, but I had not so great of a day. Tried to unearth my desk from the to-do lists, baby gifts to send out, returned phone calls and did some work. Working with a sinus and ear infection, so wasn't feeling so hot to top it off.

I needed a little cheering up tonight and searched online for some inspiration.

I found it.

Here are some great quotes that I came across that I posted above my desk to make the gray days seem a little less gray.
This picture of Sacha looking up at me after he was ice skating this winter also inspires me- reminds me that there is someone looking up to me.



Hope this can help you out if you are having a gray day too. :)
...................................................................................
Nobody trips over mountains. It is the small pebble that causes you to stumble. Pass all the pebbles in your path and you will find you have crossed the mountain.

When you come to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on.

If one dream should fall and break into a thousand pieces, never be afraid to pick one of those pieces up and begin again.

He conquers who endures.

People are always blaming their circumstances for what they are. I don't believe in circumstances. The people who get on in this world are the people who get up and look for the circumstances they want, and, if they can't find them, make them.

Our greatest glory is not in never failing, but in rising up every time we fail.

There is no telling how many miles you will have to run while chasing a dream.

Don't be discouraged. It's often the last key in the bunch that opens the lock.

A baby is born with a need to be loved - and never outgrows it.

I learned the real meaning of love. Love is absolute loyalty. People fade, looks fade, but loyalty never fades. You can depend so much on certain people, you can set your watch by them. And that's love, even if it doesn't seem very exciting.

The ultimate test of a relationship is to disagree but to hold hands.

We waste time looking for the perfect lover, instead of creating the perfect love.

The way to love anything is to realize that it may be lost.

To the world you might be one person, but to one person you might be the world

It's not only children who grow. Parents do too. As much as we watch to see what our children do with their lives, they are watching us to see what we do with ours. I can't tell my children to reach for the sun. All I can do is reach for it, myself.

Each day of our lives we make deposits in the memory banks of our children.

If I had my child to raise all over again,
I'd build self-esteem first, and the house later.
I'd finger-paint more, and point the finger less.
I would do less correcting and more connecting.
I'd take my eyes off my watch, and watch with my eyes.
I'd take more hikes and fly more kites.
I'd stop playing serious, and seriously play.
I would run through more fields and gaze at more stars.
I'd do more hugging and less tugging.

Children are natural mimics who act like their parents despite every effort to teach them good manners.

I WENT RUNNING!!

I went running for the 1st time today in 14 months. MAN did I need that. I have been building up steam from being nanny-less and without my car for a week and a half, and that run was just about the best thing I could have done.
Had a super good song mix that I made for Ed when he runs, the night air felt so good and cool but not too cold that it hurt my ears (don't your ears hurt when you run in the cold?) and no one was out on the trail. It was so nice to be alone. I only went 3 miles, but I didn't stop, and my legs feel so sore in the best way right now. Super glad I did it.

It is a little bit of an experiment to see if I can do it. I have run after having had my other 2 babies, but only when they were a little older (9 or 10 months) and with Adam still so young & being breast-fed exclusively (well, until tomorrow), the running does a number on my milk production. At least it did when I tried it when the other two were young babies. So- we shall see if it does this time too. I am determined to try to lose some of these baby LBS that are getting really old. We are going to Maui in late April and my goal (we will see how realistic it is!) is to lose 20 lbs by then. Can't cut back a ton on the food, as I (I'm sure you can see a lot of my life revolves around this) will cut back on the milk for Adam too. Soooooooo....I am going to try, but not going to kill myself doing it.

Adam had his 6 month Dr. appt. today and got the green light to start solids- hitting up Whole Foods tomorrow for some baby food!!! Exciting, and should be a fun sight to watch his reaction to anything other than milk!

Update on my other children: Samantha and Sacha are currently OBSESSED with their newfound mobility courtesy of Santa: Barbie Scooter for Samantha, Batman Hot Wheels for Sach. They LITERALLY spend at least 3 hours a day "scootering" and "bike-riding" in our driveway/neighborhood. And this is because I have to LIMIT it to 3 hours a day because I have to take care of Adam too! I love that they love their new vehicles so much- I remember being really crazy about my Hot Wheels and bike when I was their age too.

Meeting up with a new client on Friday, very excited to start helping he and his wife with the search for their first home. :)

It's kinda like holding a bomb

Holding a baby that's upset in a restaurant, that is.
Went out to ChaChaCha's with my sisters for dinner tonight. Sweet baby boy Adam was an absolute angel to the extent that complete strangers were coming up and oogling and googling over him. The music was playing loud, people were everywhere, funny lights, Christmas wreaths, fun things to look at, an array of different people to look at, outfits of every sort- he was in a sound and vision ZOO!! And my sweet boy, he watched, smiled, and absorbed while we waited 45 minutes for a table. (the place is AWESOME, of course there's a wait, any night you go there- well worth it though)

We sat down, and not 5 minutes later, he let loose and let us know how much he had been bothered by loudness/overwhelming feeling of having too much, too many people, too many sights, not enough Mama holding. For an hour (maybe longer??)- we took turns carrying Adam, or I would carry Adam and my sisters would feed me. The "carry" would have to be gentle, with his head nestled in my shoulder, and me lightly rocking from one leg to the other, no jerkiness at all. My sisters would feed me bites as I leaned over ever so precariously as to not rouse him from his comfy position on my shoulder. At one point, my sister asked if she could carry him- and I said: "Ok- but...it's kinda like you're holding a bomb" -- Meaning, there was a VERY special way you had to hold him to make sure he didn't LOSE IT. They did a great job- they took turns taking him outside & enabled me to finish the rest of my meal and even have a little sangria.

Thanks for a good night ladies. :)

The Last Time we make the Left Turn in to the Hospital????

Today is my beautiful baby boy Adam’s 6 month birthday. I can scarcely believe that 6 whole months have passed, and I look at his long little body and feel like he grew this big just overnight. He is still only nursing for now, and come Tuesday, when I get the thumbs up from his pediatrician…he will be starting solids. This makes me feel a teeny bit relieved but mostly sad. Sad that this may be the last baby that is only supported by me and my body, and not food of the outside world. Sad that my baby will not only be relying on me and me alone. Totally selfish, I know, but I have a right to it. He may be my last baby after all!!

When Adam was born on July 9th of this year, he was a teeny bit of a surprise. (his arrival, not his conception) He was 11 days early. It was a hot summer morning, I had just opened my eyes and the kids had both run into the bedroom to say good morning. As I snuggled with my daughter, Samantha, at 7:30 A.M. -my water broke! I knew what it was instantly, as it had happened when I went into labor with Samantha as well. So exciting!! I yelled across the house: “Ed!! My water broke!!!” (He was in the kitchen making breakfast) He thought I was just kidding, and then once he finally believed me, was ecstatic. And the kids were thrilled they’d finally get to meet the new baby too. So, I call my Doctor, she let me know to leisurely make my way to the hospital, and we got the kids ready for school.

Took the kids to school, (Ed is driving, of course) and realized that I would not be eating anytime soon if I was headed to the hospital…so we made a pit stop at Jamba Juice. (still having contractions, all the while, and wrapped in a beach towel) Realized I forgot my purse at home, stopped BACK at home, and then, finally….headed to the hospital (it was 10:15am by this point). I'd been through this routine before, so I wasn't in a tremendous rush to get to the hospital- the contractions weren't that bad yet, and I was enjoying the morning with Ed and the kids.

So- we’re sitting at the light on Ygnacio Valley Road, the road that turns into the hospital, waiting to make a left-hand turn…and Ed looks at me and says: “Do you realize that this might be the last time we make this left-hand turn?”

I don’t think any statement has ever made me cry so instantly. I burst into tears (hello! I was already emotional!) and was both excited and saddened by the thought.

He then backtracked and said “Maybe not! Maybe not!” But I knew that it could be the truth, and it made me really, really sad to think that it might be the last time we make that INCREDIBLY exciting left-hand turn into John Muir Hospital, anxiously and excitedly awaiting the arrival of our new baby, not knowing whether it was a girl or a boy (we didn’t know any of the 3 times). Knowing that once we turn into the hospital and check in, our lives will never be the same again. Nothing in life beats that surprise, and nothing in life can compare to the instant flood of love/emotion/happiness that comes with the very moment your baby is born and the 2-3 days you spend bonding and getting to know your new incredible baby all by yourself with your husband. So that…is part of the reason that I was so emotional. (Aside from the fact that I was in labor, just a tad hormonal.)

I also just always thought I would have 4 kids. Coming from 5, with all the chaos and insanity and fun and games, I assumed I would have my own large brood as well. Three, to me, just felt, well, not as big as what I had expected to have.

After we brought Adam home, and I realized what the reality of having 3 kids was like, it was not so far-fetched to think that 3 might be good. That to spread my attention between 3 kids was just enough. That one more might be too chaotic. It was constant craziness that 1st month we brought Adam home, with Samantha and Sacha clamoring for our attention every waking moment. They doted on the baby and looked forward to seeing his eyes open and talking to him. Seeing them all together made me so happy that I’d had a 3rd, but also made me think that dividing the attention with another one might be a little tricky. The case for the 4th is not closed yet- I would LOOOOOve a sister for Samantha...and we just may have another one, we may adopt one, we may stay where we are and be super happy with our 3. We’re just kinda playing it by ear.

But right now, tonight---I look at my darling, beautiful, mellow, good-natured brown-eyed Adam and enjoy every second that I have with him- whether or not he is my last baby. I baked a cake for his 6 month birthday tonight, Samantha and Sacha could barely wait for it to be finished, they were turning on the oven light every chance they got. And when I see them come back from the oven and do a little dance and shake Adam’s hands, and sing Happy Birthday to him, I am so happy.


Addy and his Daddy :)

Paperbackswap.com and the New Mom

I used to be a reader….before I had kids. I could read for hours…days. I would not even care if television existed or not- I could spend every free moment reading every book in sight. As a kid, I would hole myself up in my room, under a table, behind the couch- until my Dad finally would finally find me and say (My Dad, by the way, is from Yugoslavia, thus the very thick accent I am trying to convey here- think Arnold Schwartnegger, but not so gruff) “Eet’s time to pick de walnuts!!” (We lived on a farm. In the middle of LA. -San Fernando Valley) We had dozens of Walnut trees, and my Dad loved walnuts. And if we looked like we were wasting even a little bit of time, and my reading books must have looked like wasting a lot of time….it was: “Ghet eh bag! Walnuts!!!” ARGH.

So when I moved out, and began life away from home, I read constantly, voraciously. After having kids, to say that my reading time became more limited would be like saying that prisoners in jail just do not get enough time to shop at the mall. No, they most certainly do not. So now, any time that I have to read, I do. (those few minutes before I crash at night) I have a stack of magazines dating back to Spring of 2009 that are still waiting for me. And any time I find a book that looks good, I write the title down immediately so that I do not forget (my awful memory will become quite evident here).

Given my love of books and reading- I was ecstatic when I found this website…maybe you’ve heard of it….maybe you haven’t- and if you haven’t—go and check it out this very second before YOU forget! www.paperbackswap.com . It is ONLY the best idea anyone has ever come up with!!!! Hello! You read a book, you finish it, it sits around. Here, you can mail it to someone else to read. And they mail you their books! You can make a list of all the books you want, and put up a wish-list for any books you are looking for. It’s like having an online, free (minus the shipping) library that you can do in the middle of the night or whenever you think of it. Plus, it saves the earth- we recycle our books rather than letting them sit on our shelves hoping that we will read them again. BEST. IDEA. EVER. I’m a big fan.
SOOOO…..there IS a reason I am writing about this, I swear.

Today, I just sent someone a copy of my book: The Working Mother’s Guide to Life. Pretty big title, sounds like it could be very helpful to someone. Not sure what I expected to get out of this book. Maybe I thought it would give me the big secret to juggling work and a baby (at that time I only had one, Samantha). Maybe it would help me find the time to get the sleep I so desperately needed. Maybe it would give me the magic recipes that I now needed to cook everything from scratch for my new magical baby, work and still take care of my baby all at once!!!! Alas. It did not. It told me everything I already knew: Delegate what you can (how much can you really delegate when you are a new Mommy and run your own business?) , Rest whenever you can (um, is this in minute-increments?? My 1st baby had colic), and make time for yourself (ha. ha.-as in, time for myself to fold laundry, pay the bills, shower??….I see.) At any rate, the book gave me no new revelations, and I shelved it in the closet along with the few other books that were of no use to me any longer.

After I posted this book to give to some other new Mama reader on Paperbackswap.com, I got a response almost right away from Emily in Virginia Beach, VA. So I sent her the book today, and I kind of felt like writing to new Mom Emily -a little note to go along with the book. One that might tell her a little bit more about having babies and having a job, and staying sane than this book will. The note would give a few bits of important advice that would not overwhelm her exhausted, surely overworked, new mother mind. I figure a quick note with bullets would be easier to absorb and slightly less daunting than the 2.5 inch think: “Working Mother’s Guide to Life”.

Hi Emily- Thanks for requesting this book from me. I am assuming you are a new Mom. If you are not, disregard. If you are, I would like to offer you the teensiest bit of advice on raising a baby and working at the same time. This is a thick book, and if you do not have time to read it, or if it does you no good- maybe some words from another Mom on the other side of the country might help. Good luck to you and enjoy your new baby. Here goes:

1. Make a list of all the things that MUST be done in order for your house to run. It should look something like this: feed baby, change baby, pay bills, wash clothes, put clothes away in right areas, take garbage out, get food at market, clean countertops (I know, seems frivolous, but nothing puts me over the edge like dirty, crumb-y countertops). Then sit down with your husband and make sure that he is doing at least half the things on this list. If he is not- put his name next to the items you want him to do and ask him to help you!

2. On the days you are not working, sleep, sleep, sleep. Sleep some more. Sleep with your baby whenever have the opportunity. Sleep until you are drunk from sleep. Let everything else in the house go and just REST. You will remember this and treasure it on the days you have to leave early and work.

3. If the juggle with the baby and your job seems too much, ask your boss (if you have a boss) to cut you some slack. Can you work 3 days instead of 5? 4? 3.5??? Can you work from home? Even 1 day a week? Sometimes there are ways to adjust your schedule, even just for a little while.

4. Do NOT feel bad if you don’t want to do your job anymore and just want to stay home with the baby. Some people weren’t that into their jobs in the first place and then they fall in love with this amazing creature they just created and the job is more of a drag than rewarding in any way. NOTE: VERY IMPORTANT!! MAKE SURE YOU CAN AFFORD THIS OPTION AND TALK TO YOUR HUSBAND BEFORE YOUR QUIT YOUR JOB!

5. Find some new Mommy friends. Join a playgroup. If you don’t like the playgroup you found, join another one. Keep reaching out until you connect with some like-minded Mommy friends that you can converse with, share anxieties with, lament over the loss of your figure/sleep/favorite jeans together. This will come in very handy because after getting so little sleep, your words will come out jumbled, and these ladies will actually understand your new language. They might become amazing friends too, and one day you will all laugh when you look back at all your crazy, hazy days and spit-up covered outfits in photos.

6. Enjoy both times- time with your baby, and time working. That is- if you love your job, or even like your job. Obviously you know what is wonderful about your new baby (or you will know, Emily), but try to remember what is great about your job- try to find joy in it. If you can, it will make it much more gratifying and actually relieving sometimes to come in to work and have a productive day vs. being super sad about leaving your baby.

7. Do not compare yourself to any other Mother. Not your own Mother, not Heidi Klum, not Octomom. Know that you are doing the best you can, for yourself, and for your baby. Every other Mommy is doing the best she can for her family, and has her own share of happy times, hard times and headaches as well.

8. Figure everything else out as you go. Everyone has a different way of doing the juggle. And don’t feel jealous of the Mommies that stay at home with their babies. That is more of a full-time job than you going off to work and coming home to your baby, trust me. The Mommy Wars do not exist anymore, so just try to be happy with your lot in life and trust that you will instinctually know what to do to juggle the balance of loving and raising your child and having a productive job.

That’s it! Just a short list. :)
Good luck Emily!
~Marisa

My first day

Oh!- I am a little nervous! I have been intending to do this blog business for a year now? Since today I have more items on my to-do list than I have probably ever had in my life, I figure it is a good day to shove the to-do list under the pile of photos that I have to sort and just start this darned blog!

So- what IS on my to-do list you ask?
First, I have to get a car. Yes, as in, buy a new vehicle. ARGH. Not a fun task when you don't think you are going to have to buy a car for a while...I had an awesome Acura MDX which I've had since 2001. My baby, my first new car. My license plate says ZUMAGRL, for Zuma Beach, my favorite beach in LA that I would visit with great frequency during/after school, Summer...when I was in high school. After I moved up to Northern CA, there was no beach anywhere close by, and certainly no beach like Zuma, so I got the license plate to remind myself of it. Problem is- I got it when I was 24, single, and childless. ZUMAGRL fit the bill! Now, I am 32, married, and have THREE kids. Not really a girl, and my Zuma days feel so far behind me I can barely remember them. (this is the truth, I have a terrible memory) So, when I get that new car, I will have to think of a better, more appropriate license plate to have. I love personalized license plates but it is so tricky to find the right one!!! CoxClan? (too tribal, no?) Cox 5? (what if we have more kids???)Coxes? (lame) Cox RE (Real Estate- but how many people will GET that???) AT ANY RATE- you can see why I have not changed my license plate yet- too much thought/effort, and not enough time to properly come up with a good one! So, I still have ZUMAGRL. Well, HAD ZUMAGRL. (boohoo...) OK, enough about ZUMAGRL. Onto WHY I need a new car.

The Short story: Drove up to Tahoe last week for vacation with the kids- the packing took 3 days. I am not exagerrating. ZUMAGRL was packed to the GILLS and our kids could barely move in their carseats. By the time we hit Auburn, California (an hour and a half away) we had already stopped 7-8 times. We stopped in Auburn, on the side of the freeway, so that I could switch spots with my husbannd- I was carsick and needed to drive. In switching seats, my daughter, Samantha, threw a terrible tantrum. Tried to calm her down for 10 minutes, finally get in the car to get going- put my pedal to the metal and the metal goes... down to the ground and the car goes...nowhere. Oh, goodness. To be stuck in Auburn, California with more clothes in our car than in our house, with 1 baby that needs to eat and 2 toddlers that are sick of being in the car. (I swear this IS the short version) So- my transmission is shot. We rent a car (the LAST TRUCK in the local vicinity) and get up to Tahoe after a NINE hour drive. Painful is a very mild way of putting how our voyage felt.

So, I've spent the past 2 days figuring out what SUV I want to get, I haven't given in to getting a mini-van yet, though my husband would be happy to.

On the work front- I received a phone call this morning from the son of an awesome client of mine- he is looking to buy a house, and I am super duper excited to help him, as I've worked with his father and brother and if he is as cool as they are, it should be fun. I just sold a condo that I had on the market in Walnut Creek yesterday, after 10 days on the market- over by the Pleasant Hill BART Station. And I am helping another of my past clients close on a new house either tomorrow or the next day....busy, but very good week. No frustrations on the work front, only good stuff, so...v good way to start the 1st week of the new year.

On the kid front- Sach (my 2.5 year old son) (Real name Sacha, pronounced Sasha, Russian, though we are not, we just really loved the name, and he fits it perfectly) is sick, green boogers and all, lethargic, taking a nap right now. Adam (my nearly 6 month old son) is still sniffly. Samantha seems sniffly still but not sick, just adjusting to going back to preschool after a 2 week hiatus.

Goals for the week: 1. Try to get at least 1 work out in. 2. Find a damned car!!!